Love, Relationships and Pains.

 Love is a mere word in the hearts of many.  We kill that which we love and cherish. No one wants to be close to us because it's a mere nothing. So many people have lost hope in true love because it doesn't exist. Some experiences are hurtful and unforgettable than the pleasure that came with it.

Along the path of love, so many people lost it all. To some, their lives, while others, their time, investments, opportunities, happiness and shattered hearts. Gone are the days when good people meet and fall in love with each other. Today, the reverse is the case. Most  innocent and naive people meets and get entangled with the wrong people. As a result of this bitter experiences, they tends not to love again. While some people  hurts others in order to vent their anger.

To many, the dose of sorrow has not allowed them to inhale fresh air. If you don't love him / her why pretend to. Have you really asked yourself few questions such as ;

* Why the struggle for security when you are not sure of any commitment. 

*Do hurt people actually hurts people?

* Have you thought of the consequences of your actions?

* If am the one hurt, how would I feel?

* Can I ever trust anyone to love again?

Two types of Relationships

There are two types of relationships in life;

1. Those that inspire us to give our best and those that destroy us.

2. Those that give us peace and those that take it away.

I don't know why and how we choose wrongly most of the time. Why do people choose the type of love that tears them apart? However, society and it's stereotype push people toward that chaos. Although, it teaches us that pain is fun, meanwhile it isn't. This is because pain is preserve, it's exciting yet painful.

We have to learn to love again because it's our duty as humans but if you don't love someone let them be, don't play smart, it kills emotionally, psychologically and physically in the end.

Successful Lifestyle

 Individually, we have different definitions of success. To me, ' success is the attainment of realistic laid down goals'. It could also mean learning from failure through the application of contrivance ( use of skill ) to succeed.

Successful people are goal oriented people. Once they are determined to accomplishing success, nothing can stop them. Despite the storm, they always succeeds.

Successful people are not the ' knowing people ' but the 'learning people '. The reason been that 'knowing people'  are always stock in their outdated and moribund knowledge towards success. While the' learning people' would not loss touch of current successful trends as well as being motivated or relent from learning from successful people.

     THE SUCCESSFUL LIFESTYLE

       Successful lifestyle demands that;

* If you want to attain success, never have a negative mentality or stay around negative people. Emulate other successful people's positive strategies. This is because keeping negative and failure mindset people around you might over time influence you or change your ideology towards success. 

*Successful people only focus on positivity - be optimistic.

*Success people are not lazy. They are zealous and productive individuals. Ever determined to pursue and achieve success.

*If you want to be successful, be ready and avoid  too much sleep. This is because sleepy people are not leaders.  Remember that preparation meets opportunity for success to be attained. So, when you sleep too much how can you prepare yourself for success. Be guided, set roles for yourself.

*Living a successful lifestyle doesn't mean you won't face challenges, but your ability to overcome it without regrets makes the difference.

Believe in yourself.....it can only get better.

Spiral of Silence

 She's always on point, most of her peers are envious of her. Everyday, she goes to Dubai, on some occasion, she's in France but not alone always with him. He is someone's joy, pride and everything but he belongs to her.

Why am I suffering so much while Ella has it all. Maybe I have been cursed for nothing, so unlucky lamented Sarah.

If only Sarah and  others knew the in- depth analysis of Ella's pains and agonies behind her shining face and glittering white tooth. If only they  she knew that she has stolen someone's joy yet she's not joyous. If only they knew how Ella is envious of them. She has sold her freedom and dignity to him, he own her completely. Such is life. She has never broken silence so one knew what she's going through.

Today, people are envious of others without knowing their source of income, their personal life style, relationships, as well as knew the challenges and pains they go through unspoken. Why the low self-esteem? 

Low self-esteem can discourage you from attaining success. This makes you wallow in silence and your creative ideas ignored intrinsically.  No need for spiral of Silence be free to express yourself even when you are not on track, be confident and bold.

HOW TO OVERCOME SPIRAL OF SILENCE

In order to overcome low self-esteem and spiral of silence; 

* Place more value on you life. 

* Determine to do something great because    you are a great personality with great and brighter potential hidden within you that you need to explore. 

*Love yourself before you can love someone     else 

* Envy no one rather than yourself and be contended with what you have.

* Have a positive thinking mentality, avoid negative thoughts.

* Choose your friends don't let friends chose you to astray.

* Sometimes, most things  are not necessarily good for you, be conscious.

* Don't allow active voices to put you in silence, be brave and of good courage.

Never Regret your Past : It's a Lesson

 Past is simply a time that has gone by while regret is a remorseful feeling of inadequacies or shortfalls.

The past has gone by, why worry about it. There are so many things you must have wished time could permit you to take charge of right now. It's really not necessary any more. Never think hard about the past because it brings more pains, fears and regrets.

 Don't cry over the past, it's gone. Nothing in this life is permanent, so don't stress yourself too much about anything because no matter how bad the situation you are facing right now is, it will certainly change.

I regret nothing in my life even if my past was full of hurt, I see everything as a learning process for my life. Maybe your trials are tougher than mine, no need to worry, life itself is in different dimensions so is our problems but the most important thing is our ability to overcome it all. This is why Henry Ford said that failure is an opportunity to start more intelligently.

It could be your relationship, marriage, career, job, business, education, family and the list goes on, that must have faced one challenge or the other, you don't have to regret it. It is in the past now, all you need to do is keep on moving forward because no amount of regrets can make a river cry.

Always fill your life with happiness and love. Life is beautiful, if you miss any beautiful moment out of it, you can't retrieve it so avoid sadness, anger,regrets and live life to the fullest.

Life trials will test and shape you but don't let them change who you are......

 

Sexual Compatibility

 Sexual compatibility is the degree to which partners perceives they share similar or same sexual beliefs, needs and desires as well as being on the same page. However, being sexually compatible with someone doesn't mean having amazing sex all the time. In essence, sexual compatibility as it were, is all about being able to interact or communicate with your partner about everything.

Today, women feel comfortable and are able to tell men when they truly want sex. They are able to say 'yes' without shame and 'no' without any form of guilt when a man suggests that he want sex.

                                 appadvice.com

Most men today uses the idea of sex to prove if a woman loves them or not. Sex has become the determinant for love. They would sound like,' if you truly love me you will have sex with me to seal our love unless you don't love me'. This simply proves that the man doesn't love you but wants to use your body for fun.

With this consciousness, as a woman, you don't need to be scared of loosing such a man. He is not meant for you. In the end you will me meet someone who will is not willing to change anything in you but to love you just the way you are.

Yes, sex can happen on the very first you meet an attractive individual but mutual respect for each order is a necessity as this can lead to a pleasurable sexuality other than being compelled into it.

There is no need for emotional and sexual exploitation. Instead let love and sex be based on personal sexual responsibility in which the needs and desires of each people in relationship are accepted wholeheartedly.

Let there be sexual compatibility. This is because sex is a basic instinct that needs to be enjoyed by both men and women.

Be Yourself

 No one can be you than yourself. No matter what always be your true self. No one is smarter than you and no one is better than you. Just because someone is doing better than you doesn't mean that he / she is better than you.

Just be yourself, ife is too short to be someone else. Life is how you live it. Always believe in yourself.

No one can be you than yourself. Always remember the law of potential difference. You are well equipped with you own potentials so is another. No one should make you feel inferior. You have the ability to be greater than anyone, if only you can possess the possibility right frame of mine. Anything is possible to him that believe.

Whenever you feel like giving up, think of those wishing for just one chance to amend their lives. There are so many shattered plans, lives, destinies and purposes of so many persons all over the world, but you are different, don't you think you need to be grateful for who you are. This is because your current status is someone else's prayer point.

Shattered Love

Frankly speaking, I have heard from people who speaks about their various relationships' and love life but non has struck me more negatively like that of 'Gifted Brown'. Her luck with love was quite extraordinary. And it began quite early.

According to her, she was with him, her very first love who deflowered her in early July, 2019 after being with him in a relationship for 3 years. Distance they say was a barrier to many distance relationships but love could have been a connection for any distance relationship. Maybe, it might be for others but not in Gifted Brown's case. She was engrossed in her love for him that she never realized that the relationship was a one sided affair. What became an eye opener was also responsible for her pains. Yes, men play games a lot but is it really necessary? How come what brings smiles on our faces within a second can as well reflect frowns on our faces and caused pains in our inner being.


So many persons have made life miserable for the brave at heart who took the bull of love with pleasure. In the case of Gifted, her bravery was shattered, pains and tears became her diet. Could she be dreaming. It was clear to her then that 3 years was not 3 days. Three years of turning other men down for one man was gone. He was a jerk after all. So many questions unattended to, she sometimes questions her integrity and existence. Was he patient with her for the past 3 years just to go through her paradise or could she have been patient enough to obey the Holy Book that goes against sex before marriage ( formication). What could be wrong, she wondered.


 He never broke up with her formally but after having her the relationship was over. Months later, she realized that she was pregnant after going through series of stress both emotional, she lost the baby but still grateful for life. Despite having knowledge of these events in Gifted's life, he never showed kindness neither was he remorseful of his actions. To him, it was over long ago but another have to bore the mark of remembrance. Can weak people stop trading love for sex. Being weak in loving others is OK, but influencing others with your weakness is devilish and inessential. Could there be a time in this our generation where good people will not be deceived and hurt by the bad ones? I guess, not yet.


 I was seized by her story and I found myself totally ensconced in it. It could happen to anyone, either me or you. How can someone go through such agony for the sake of love. What a ' shattered love' it was, but more profoundly, Gifted Brown still remains an extraordinary individual with great potential. One thing I learnt from her story is that family will always be family. In it all, they stood by her, this act alone I believe will strengthen and quicken her inner being to realize and embrace her potentials.