Love, Relationships and Pains.

 Love is a mere word in the hearts of many.  We kill that which we love and cherish. No one wants to be close to us because it's a mere nothing. So many people have lost hope in true love because it doesn't exist. Some experiences are hurtful and unforgettable than the pleasure that came with it.

Along the path of love, so many people lost it all. To some, their lives, while others, their time, investments, opportunities, happiness and shattered hearts. Gone are the days when good people meet and fall in love with each other. Today, the reverse is the case. Most  innocent and naive people meets and get entangled with the wrong people. As a result of this bitter experiences, they tends not to love again. While some people  hurts others in order to vent their anger.

To many, the dose of sorrow has not allowed them to inhale fresh air. If you don't love him / her why pretend to. Have you really asked yourself few questions such as ;

* Why the struggle for security when you are not sure of any commitment. 

*Do hurt people actually hurts people?

* Have you thought of the consequences of your actions?

* If am the one hurt, how would I feel?

* Can I ever trust anyone to love again?

Two types of Relationships

There are two types of relationships in life;

1. Those that inspire us to give our best and those that destroy us.

2. Those that give us peace and those that take it away.

I don't know why and how we choose wrongly most of the time. Why do people choose the type of love that tears them apart? However, society and it's stereotype push people toward that chaos. Although, it teaches us that pain is fun, meanwhile it isn't. This is because pain is preserve, it's exciting yet painful.

We have to learn to love again because it's our duty as humans but if you don't love someone let them be, don't play smart, it kills emotionally, psychologically and physically in the end.

Successful Lifestyle

 Individually, we have different definitions of success. To me, ' success is the attainment of realistic laid down goals'. It could also mean learning from failure through the application of contrivance ( use of skill ) to succeed.

Successful people are goal oriented people. Once they are determined to accomplishing success, nothing can stop them. Despite the storm, they always succeeds.

Successful people are not the ' knowing people ' but the 'learning people '. The reason been that 'knowing people'  are always stock in their outdated and moribund knowledge towards success. While the' learning people' would not loss touch of current successful trends as well as being motivated or relent from learning from successful people.

     THE SUCCESSFUL LIFESTYLE

       Successful lifestyle demands that;

* If you want to attain success, never have a negative mentality or stay around negative people. Emulate other successful people's positive strategies. This is because keeping negative and failure mindset people around you might over time influence you or change your ideology towards success. 

*Successful people only focus on positivity - be optimistic.

*Success people are not lazy. They are zealous and productive individuals. Ever determined to pursue and achieve success.

*If you want to be successful, be ready and avoid  too much sleep. This is because sleepy people are not leaders.  Remember that preparation meets opportunity for success to be attained. So, when you sleep too much how can you prepare yourself for success. Be guided, set roles for yourself.

*Living a successful lifestyle doesn't mean you won't face challenges, but your ability to overcome it without regrets makes the difference.

Believe in yourself.....it can only get better.

Spiral of Silence

 She's always on point, most of her peers are envious of her. Everyday, she goes to Dubai, on some occasion, she's in France but not alone always with him. He is someone's joy, pride and everything but he belongs to her.

Why am I suffering so much while Ella has it all. Maybe I have been cursed for nothing, so unlucky lamented Sarah.

If only Sarah and  others knew the in- depth analysis of Ella's pains and agonies behind her shining face and glittering white tooth. If only they  she knew that she has stolen someone's joy yet she's not joyous. If only they knew how Ella is envious of them. She has sold her freedom and dignity to him, he own her completely. Such is life. She has never broken silence so one knew what she's going through.

Today, people are envious of others without knowing their source of income, their personal life style, relationships, as well as knew the challenges and pains they go through unspoken. Why the low self-esteem? 

Low self-esteem can discourage you from attaining success. This makes you wallow in silence and your creative ideas ignored intrinsically.  No need for spiral of Silence be free to express yourself even when you are not on track, be confident and bold.

HOW TO OVERCOME SPIRAL OF SILENCE

In order to overcome low self-esteem and spiral of silence; 

* Place more value on you life. 

* Determine to do something great because    you are a great personality with great and brighter potential hidden within you that you need to explore. 

*Love yourself before you can love someone     else 

* Envy no one rather than yourself and be contended with what you have.

* Have a positive thinking mentality, avoid negative thoughts.

* Choose your friends don't let friends chose you to astray.

* Sometimes, most things  are not necessarily good for you, be conscious.

* Don't allow active voices to put you in silence, be brave and of good courage.

Never Regret your Past : It's a Lesson

 Past is simply a time that has gone by while regret is a remorseful feeling of inadequacies or shortfalls.

The past has gone by, why worry about it. There are so many things you must have wished time could permit you to take charge of right now. It's really not necessary any more. Never think hard about the past because it brings more pains, fears and regrets.

 Don't cry over the past, it's gone. Nothing in this life is permanent, so don't stress yourself too much about anything because no matter how bad the situation you are facing right now is, it will certainly change.

I regret nothing in my life even if my past was full of hurt, I see everything as a learning process for my life. Maybe your trials are tougher than mine, no need to worry, life itself is in different dimensions so is our problems but the most important thing is our ability to overcome it all. This is why Henry Ford said that failure is an opportunity to start more intelligently.

It could be your relationship, marriage, career, job, business, education, family and the list goes on, that must have faced one challenge or the other, you don't have to regret it. It is in the past now, all you need to do is keep on moving forward because no amount of regrets can make a river cry.

Always fill your life with happiness and love. Life is beautiful, if you miss any beautiful moment out of it, you can't retrieve it so avoid sadness, anger,regrets and live life to the fullest.

Life trials will test and shape you but don't let them change who you are......

 

Sexual Compatibility

 Sexual compatibility is the degree to which partners perceives they share similar or same sexual beliefs, needs and desires as well as being on the same page. However, being sexually compatible with someone doesn't mean having amazing sex all the time. In essence, sexual compatibility as it were, is all about being able to interact or communicate with your partner about everything.

Today, women feel comfortable and are able to tell men when they truly want sex. They are able to say 'yes' without shame and 'no' without any form of guilt when a man suggests that he want sex.

                                 appadvice.com

Most men today uses the idea of sex to prove if a woman loves them or not. Sex has become the determinant for love. They would sound like,' if you truly love me you will have sex with me to seal our love unless you don't love me'. This simply proves that the man doesn't love you but wants to use your body for fun.

With this consciousness, as a woman, you don't need to be scared of loosing such a man. He is not meant for you. In the end you will me meet someone who will is not willing to change anything in you but to love you just the way you are.

Yes, sex can happen on the very first you meet an attractive individual but mutual respect for each order is a necessity as this can lead to a pleasurable sexuality other than being compelled into it.

There is no need for emotional and sexual exploitation. Instead let love and sex be based on personal sexual responsibility in which the needs and desires of each people in relationship are accepted wholeheartedly.

Let there be sexual compatibility. This is because sex is a basic instinct that needs to be enjoyed by both men and women.

Be Yourself

 No one can be you than yourself. No matter what always be your true self. No one is smarter than you and no one is better than you. Just because someone is doing better than you doesn't mean that he / she is better than you.

Just be yourself, ife is too short to be someone else. Life is how you live it. Always believe in yourself.

No one can be you than yourself. Always remember the law of potential difference. You are well equipped with you own potentials so is another. No one should make you feel inferior. You have the ability to be greater than anyone, if only you can possess the possibility right frame of mine. Anything is possible to him that believe.

Whenever you feel like giving up, think of those wishing for just one chance to amend their lives. There are so many shattered plans, lives, destinies and purposes of so many persons all over the world, but you are different, don't you think you need to be grateful for who you are. This is because your current status is someone else's prayer point.

Shattered Love

Frankly speaking, I have heard from people who speaks about their various relationships' and love life but non has struck me more negatively like that of 'Gifted Brown'. Her luck with love was quite extraordinary. And it began quite early.

According to her, she was with him, her very first love who deflowered her in early July, 2019 after being with him in a relationship for 3 years. Distance they say was a barrier to many distance relationships but love could have been a connection for any distance relationship. Maybe, it might be for others but not in Gifted Brown's case. She was engrossed in her love for him that she never realized that the relationship was a one sided affair. What became an eye opener was also responsible for her pains. Yes, men play games a lot but is it really necessary? How come what brings smiles on our faces within a second can as well reflect frowns on our faces and caused pains in our inner being.


So many persons have made life miserable for the brave at heart who took the bull of love with pleasure. In the case of Gifted, her bravery was shattered, pains and tears became her diet. Could she be dreaming. It was clear to her then that 3 years was not 3 days. Three years of turning other men down for one man was gone. He was a jerk after all. So many questions unattended to, she sometimes questions her integrity and existence. Was he patient with her for the past 3 years just to go through her paradise or could she have been patient enough to obey the Holy Book that goes against sex before marriage ( formication). What could be wrong, she wondered.


 He never broke up with her formally but after having her the relationship was over. Months later, she realized that she was pregnant after going through series of stress both emotional, she lost the baby but still grateful for life. Despite having knowledge of these events in Gifted's life, he never showed kindness neither was he remorseful of his actions. To him, it was over long ago but another have to bore the mark of remembrance. Can weak people stop trading love for sex. Being weak in loving others is OK, but influencing others with your weakness is devilish and inessential. Could there be a time in this our generation where good people will not be deceived and hurt by the bad ones? I guess, not yet.


 I was seized by her story and I found myself totally ensconced in it. It could happen to anyone, either me or you. How can someone go through such agony for the sake of love. What a ' shattered love' it was, but more profoundly, Gifted Brown still remains an extraordinary individual with great potential. One thing I learnt from her story is that family will always be family. In it all, they stood by her, this act alone I believe will strengthen and quicken her inner being to realize and embrace her potentials.

Love is Funny

Everything about life and love is funny. Most times, the ones we care for don't care less. Very funny indeed!!!


 When you are the only one feeling love and care for someone without the other paying attention to you, just know that the attention is somewhere else. Don't waste your time and effort loving. Isn't it funny that the ones we love, loves another. Indeed love is actually blind but true love is adorable but scarce, unless it's waves is blown to your direction.

I remembered a friend telling me about her love story. According to her, she fell in love with her boyfriend not knowing that she was drawing. He doesn't even make her any of his priority. He hardly calls,she has no choice than to call him. After having sex with her nothing else matters. It took her three years to realize how funny love can be.

Could love be this funny?.... Actually it could be. This is because most attributes that constitute in loving someone are lacking in our attitudes. There's no room for tolerance, endurance, forgiveness nor mercy. That's why most people believe love is for the strong hearted and brave ones. If so, what then is Love?.....

However, I advice  my friend never to regret any of her past actions. This is because they help to strengthened and encourage her to become a better person. All her hurts actually thought her a lot in life.

Before you say "I Do"

Most persons, mostly the ladies feels the best achievement in life after acquiring education is "marriage". Everyone wants to get married by all means without adequate preparation.  

Before you say I do, there are few questions that you need to ask yourself ;

 * How prepared are you for marriage?

 * Are you ready to face some
      unforeseen circumstances
                     in marriage?

 * Are you aware that marriage is
               a life -  time journey?

 * How prepared are you to make
               sacrifices  in your
                     marriage?

 * Do you know that there's no
            babysitting attitudes
                   in marriage?

 * Are you ready to enjoy the good times                      and endure the bad times
                        in marriage?

* Are you getting married because
         you're ready for it or is it
            because all your friends
               are getting married?

 *  Are you really prepared to do it?

 * Hope you know that divorce is improper                          and not an option?

 Marriage is full of surprises, not all that glitter is actually gold, hope you know this!!

 While making adequate plans for your wedding don't forget to prepare for your marriage. Don't be carried away in marriage fantasy rather be zealous towards one another and also, create room for little things. This makes a big difference in our hearts. I know it sounds reminiscent because we take each other for granted. Make your spouse feels that they are truly treasured, this can add more spices to you marriage.

Before you say "I Do", be sure that you and your spouse are meant for each other, let the union be genuine. Don't rush into marriage because of family, friends or life's  challenging situations. Be sure is what you're ready for .

A Better Place

When I was a child I thought everyone will always get along and anyone could be anything. As time goes on, it turns out that real life could really be complicated.

 Real - life is mercy

* we all have limitations

* We all makes mistake

* We all have a lot in common.

  However, the more we try to understand one another, the more exceptional each of us would be but we have to try. So, no matter what kind of individual you are I employ you to try to make the world a better place.

A place were we will see beyond our weakness and find strength in ourselves to fight against any trial. In order to make the world a better place, you have to look inside yourself and recognize that.........

 *change starts from you

*It starts from me and

*It starts from all of us.

Let love always lead to make this world a better place to dwell.

Listen To Your Heart

There's no basic principle to finding love. Everyone thinks they have an idea of what you should do in order to find love.

Some say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, others suggest dating services and personality building. However, my journey has really thought me that it's not always the case. More so, I have come to realize that love has a life of it's own, it chooses us and not the other way round.

Love doesn't ask for our permission, it just happen to us. Love sees far than tribal, personality and age differences and only if we could open our hearts to let it in, it will flow indeed. You will find love when it's meant to be,all you have to do is listen to your heart.

The true expression of Love

The knowledge that I would have to atone rested on me like a well - worn blanket against a crisp and bitter truth. It was a sensation, like a touch, which was too profound and deep to be a simple manifestation of fear shaped from a long forgotten val experience.

He thought time healed all wounds, especially those of the flesh and of the soul. Little did he knew that some wounds never heal and the scars bleed incessantly never to close and never to mend.

There are things in this world that we know are truth because we can touch and feel them like pain. Others don't deserve it from you, instead help those who are facing this inevitable test to be pulled back again with love. Everyone is loveable. There's no one who is too bad that you can't love even place and time, it all depends on you.

 "You can be in the right place at the right time, and around the right people, yet nothing will happen unless you make the right move" Andrew Lara.

The right move to any successful relationships starts with the right mindset.

 ......how many people have such? 

 Embrace the unconditional love today and let it lead you in all you do because that's the true expression of love.

Singleness before Marriage

Being single is a privilege. Singleness is a necessary phase in life that you have to pass through in order to succeed in marriage.

Don't allow society to influence your sense of judgment. It is better to be single or have a broken engagement than to suffer divorce. Singleness is a gift, you are wonderful and delicate so celebrate your season as a single.

 Life is in phases,while men are in sizes. Every phase in life prepares you for the next one and being a single is a necessarily phase in life that should prepare you for marriage.

 Wedding is simply an initiation into marriage while marriage is a lifetime journey. Don't rush into marriage because all your friends are getting married, have an insight about marriage first. This is because when preparation meets with opportunity results seems to success.


 There is no accidental fulfilment in marriage,if you are going to enjoy fulfilment in your marriage then you have to prepare yourself for marriage and there is no better time than now that you are still single.


The marriage you don't prepare for will confuse you when you get there. Preparation is vital for marriage because it is your preparation that determine your experience in marriage. Acquire knowledge mostly about marriage because what you don't know will definitely suffer you.


Ignorance is behind every obstacle in a person's life but if you want to live happily then be learned and make your life simple. Be useful in your days of singleness and cultivate good character as it sustains beauty because bad habit denies absolute happiness. You can't be perfect but you can be useful and needful.

 ......Be integrity personified

 Never forget that a happy planned home lays the foundation for a progressive nation.

Hurt People, Hurt People

It's harder than I thought to tell the truth especially when people are stuck with the wrong mindset. All of the pain and irony you must have faced must have left you in pieces and has harden your heart,yes,it really hurt.

     Shutterstock.com

Relationship is not that rosy, often times, people get hurt. However, it's not okay to go into a new relationship immediately after a broken one, there's need to heal first. This is because when people are really hurt by others they tend to do same to another in attempt to heal themselves.

            1Heartintelligence.com

.......it's really hurt when you hurt somebody as hurt people, hurt people.

 In every relationship, be careful the way you treat people. If you don't love someone, let them go don't hurt them.

   * Not everything is of equal priority to                                     you.

   * Always see yourself in others, what you              will not like for yourself,
                don't do it to others.

   * Never be the reason for someone's tears                           of pain.

  * Handle situations with love to avoid                              hurting people.

In it all,you will feel great for your awesome deeds.

It's Really Good to make Mistakes

Often times I have made a lot of mistakes. Mostly, in trusting people close to me too much,underestimated the existence of evil especially on shining faces. In it all, I never expected anything from anyone. Maybe because I don't want to be crushed or disappointed, thereby becoming evilly in life.

Everyone makes mistakes. No one can avoid making mistakes because it's a normal part of life.

 "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried something new" - Albert Einstein.

 The only thing I don't regret are my mistakes rather I learn from them. This is because making mistakes proves that am not perfect and it reminds me that I need to strive harder for the best. It motivate me to work harder,learn very fast and do better than before by improving myself.

..... Indeed Mistakes are challenging tools.

Most people are stagnant because they are always conscious of their actions and are also afraid of making mistakes. If so,how then can they improve?

 Mahatma Gandhi said that "Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes ". 

Mistakes help us grow as individuals, as  it's enables us to learn from them and succeed in life.

FAMILY : Always the Best

Family is everything in the entire world as it is the most vital aspect of human existence.

" What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family" - Mother Teresa.

 Family is the heart of home where there's family, there's love. Family isn't always by blood because it only makes you related but it is mostly the people in your life who also wants you in theirs and would go to any length to protect and accept you for who you truly are with genuine and unique love.  

Some family could be really weird, crazy,troublesome,and confusing but it doesn't really matters, they are family and no one can take that away from them.

 Mostly, you might not get along with your family, it's a normal thing. There are times when you fights,argues,disagree on things and certain decisions, regrets and even keep malice with one another. But it doesn't count because your love for your family will always be great. In the end,family is everything.

When tough times and trouble comes,your family's support is all you need. They give you reasons to smile and feel special.

Always love your family no matter who they are because they are forever and they makes up a huge part of who you are today.

It Was a Fantasy

Ray, an ideal and dream man of almost every lady. The tone of his voice is always very romantic especially the way he calls out to Humeral is  spectacular.

His eyes very cool searching for amazement. When looks into his eyes,her lips slightly trembled as he looks irresistible and his lips very soft like every day's bread ready for consumption.

His marble - like face alone is enough to attract more girls. He was as dazzling as the diamond. In fact,he made her feel like the turbine behind his affection. She was lost in lust.

 When they had sex,those uncontrollable and sweet words added meaning to her life. To Humeral, life is beautiful being with him. Indeed she was lost. Her feelings were unimaginable and magical as she can hardly get a full grasp of it. But Ray never loved her.

To Ray, it was just for the moment. He only loves his freedom and wants to be flirting with any attractive girl whenever he wants. He has no space for commitment.

 She stood in a daze and glared at him for a while wondering how she got into her own fantasy.

She cried vehemently, it was just a fantasy..............

 Most times,people imagined a lovely relationship and love life and build it up as reality because they are being carried away in thoughts. Some fairy tales don't happen the way we had imagined.

 Not all men are the same, sometimes, we meet the right and wrong ones either way both changes our ideologies and how we see life and view the world entirely.

 Live right, FANTASY is not an option.

Emotional Entanglement : The Hidden Beast.

Emotional entanglement is a complicated or difficult relationship situation that you can't escape from easily. It's another sort of beast.


 Sometimes, people don't really appreciate who they are. They don't have personal stability, the one that comes out of personal revelation of who you are. They don't have a healthy self - esteem so they feel  that the only way to feel among is to maintain their existing relationships. Truly, some people are not really bad but you don't need them in your life because your choices of people to be with would definitely determine your fate.

Today, so many lives are littered with emotional entanglement. Most persons fall into an entanglement and regard it to be love because they feel strongly attached to each other and lack the adequacy to to know themselves or their partner better. In such relationships because you are being manipulated unknowingly, you feel incomplete without your partner. The truth seems insubstantial,you feel indebted to your partner. Most times, it weighs you down greatly and can even restrict your freedom and connection with your family and friends. Despite all the breakups, you keep coming back together. Emotional entanglement is very bad and difficult to avoid because you will always feel trapped in the relationship.


 It is never too late to reinvent yourself ,so don't wait and ruin your life. Do what makes you feel great no matter what.

True Love: Does it really exist?

They said that love is a very beautiful thing and that it's one of the best feelings in the world, but does true love really exist?


Today, people engage in lust instead of love, the rest is fiction. Some persons come into your life just like an angel, caring, impressive and lovable. In fact,they appear to be everything you have ever dreamt of but does that really count for true love.

If you want to ascertain true love, then go see a movie because the idea of true love is just an imagination. The idea of true love is knotty in nature, whereas some persons are infatuated and obsessed.


It might interest you to know that true love does not exist, but romance does. Many people profess love to each other for what they stand to gain. Others do so for the benefit of having sex. People can go to any length  to achieve their desires not minding if they hurt others or not, could this actually be true love?


Life itself is a game so is love,nothing goes for nothing. Imagine when a man claims to be truly in love with a lady and is ready to go extra miles for her but in a bit all the feelings can varnish when he sees another lady whom he felt is the right person he's in love with, same goes to the ladies. How many hearts do you have  that possesses love for different people. Truly, true love does not exist, it's just an assumption of the unrealistic truth.


 ....... Correct me if you are sure am wrong.